MERGING SYNDROME:Left Lane Closed Ahead

When driving out to see clients I frequently take Interstate 93 to get out to them. Those in the Boston area know very well that 93 is home to two major things, the infamous "Big Dig" and major traffic jams. 

Just as you leave Boston on 93 South the left lane closes and everybody is forced to merge. I drive this exact route 4-5 times a week and still run into the same problem. I get all the way over into the left lane and forget that I will need to merge back into the original lane I was coming from. 

This typically causes frustration, stress, a small amount of time, and sets the tone for the remainder of my drive, "pissed off with a headache". One day I chose to do something different. Not only stay in the middle lane, BUT change to the right lane. My thought process was, "I don't want to deal with merging, or the lane that needs to accept and let in those merging assholes." 

This changed my world! I saved a very little bit of time, a lot of frustration, and actually had a pleasant remainder of the ride. Unbelievably different outcomes from just one small change. I realized quickly that individual's typically do 3 things when asked to merge:

1. "Pumping the Breaks": Slow down to get behind somebody 
2. "Pressing the Gas": Speed up to cut someone off and/or get ahead of somebody
3. "Go With the Flow": Merge in line with everybody else when forced to come together.

These occurrences led me to form a theory, known as "Merging Syndrome".

THE BREAKDOWN:

Merging Syndrome 

Individual's that suffer from Merging Syndrome experience difficulty in effectively making important, timely, and valuable decisions.

Symptoms: 

• Irritation
• Mental Fatigue
• Frustration
• Increased Anxiety
• Aggravation
• Headaches
• Confusion
• Use of the middle finger
• Poor control of language
• More extreme cases experience crying, blurry vision, and accidents.

These individuals are typically separated into three categories (although people can experience variations of them):

I. Pumping the Breaks: Individual's that pump the breaks tend to avoid making important decisions and procrastinate. This can result in increased anxiety levels, poor decisions, missing out on fulfilling experiences, and missing potential growth opportunity. Individual's that typically indulge in "Pumping the Breaks" value certainty, safety, and security.

II. Pressing the Gas: Individual's that press the gas tend to rush into important decisions without proper planning, readiness, and regard. This can result in poor decisions, placing yourself in high-risk situations, and increased vulnerability. Individual's that typically indulge in "Pressing the Gas" value variety and significance. 

III. Go With the Flow: Individual's that go with the flow tend to allow others to make decisions for them and lack regard for how this may affect them in the future. This can result in increased anxiety, feelings of being "out of control", lack of fulfillment, and poor sense of identity. Individual's that typically "Go With the Flow" value the need for connection. 

When making important, timely, and valuable decisions in your life it is important to properly prepare yourself for the mental and physical rigors that may come your way. Making these decisions hold great potential for growth, contribution, and fulfillment. At the same time they have the potential to cause anxiety, doubt, pain, and confusion. Learn how to prepare, adapt, and acclimate to your new environment to help ensure a smooth transition. 

If you or anybody you know is suffering from Merging Syndrome, please contact YouTime Coaching by emailing YouTimeCoaching@gmail.com

*Merging Syndrome is not a recognized syndrome by the current DSM or any body of literature. Merging Syndrome was created by Jonathan Wolf, through his own life experience and presented to help others identify their decision making process. 

Hey Boston Marathon,Give Me Some Post Traumatic GROWTH

In light of the recent bombings at the Boston Marathon and the massive numbers of individuals returning from war, our culture has become all too familiar with the term "post traumatic stress". What most people are not as familiar with is the concept of 

"Post Traumatic Growth"

Research involving individuals and their relationship to stress, pain, fear, and trauma have been around for thousands of years but the interest in Post Traumatic Growth began to steal some of the limelight in the 1990's. 

Post Traumatic Growth involves an individual's path in adapting to sets of negative experiences that would normally cause psychological distress or harm. These events could include experiences with death, abuse, serious injury, natural disasters, relationships, accidents, and other potentially traumatic events. 

Simply looking at this list you can understand why some individuals experience post traumatic stress. 

BUT

What if there were a way to experience growth following traumatic events like those mentioned above?

Post Traumatic Growth Characteristics:

1. Greater appreciation for life
2. Shift in sense of priorities
3. More genuine connections and relationships
4. Increase sense of personal strength
5. Recognition of new life paths and possibilities

Are you sold yet?

How can I get some Post Traumatic Growth?

1. First, you must have a belief system that supports growth.

Spirituality is a characteristic that has been closely linked to experiencing post traumatic growth, but the core concept behind this connection are the empowering beliefs a spiritual individual may possess. 

Keep these in mind:

BELIEVE that you can grow from this 

and

You are capable of this change.

2. You must have support

Support systems have been linked in post traumatic growth on many levels. Therapists, counselors, and life coaches (with proper training) can have great impacts on your ability to experience this growth, post traumatic event. 

Surround yourself with genuine, insightful, and caring individuals that you feel comfortable sharing your life with. This could be the difference between growth and stress. 

Conclusion:

1. Be confident and open to being able to grow
2. Develop a belief system that empowers and supports you in experiencing growth.
3. Seek out opportunity to develop new genuine relationships and connections.
4. Sniff out your most precious support systems and use them.

Lastly, 

During the Boston Marathon I was watching the race in Kenmore Square (15 minute walk to the finish line), when I had heard what happened followed by a massive number of text messages, phone calls, and emails making sure I was okay. I want to thank those individuals and extend my heart and support to the families that were affected by these horrible events. 

There is hope and there is strength within you to grow from this. Never loose sight of that.

All the best,

Jonathan B. Wolf, Ed.M.
Vitality, Performance, and Parent Coach
YouTime Coaching
Boston, MA


Contact:
YouTimeCoaching@gmail.com
(856)905-5410

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This Is Recommended

 What factors need to be in alignment for somebody to make a good decision for themselves? 

This link could possibly, in the most easiest way possible, align those factors intantly.

Opening this is recommended (Click Here)

The Best Advice Martha Stewart Ever Received

Where do you get your advice from? Most people get advice everyday and never choose to use it. Well, these well known millionaires used the advice others gave them and look at the outcome.





Jonathan B. Wolf, Ed.M.
YouTime Coaching
Vitality, Performance, and Parent Coaching
Email YouTime Coaching

Train Your Brain

Everyone is faced with making multiple decisions each and every day. Some of these decisions hold high importance to the outcome of our day, week, month, or even life. While on the other hand, most decisions will have little to no impact on such things.

Or could they?

While the big decisions can have a lasting impact so can the smaller ones. It all comes down to whether or not you have programmed your mind in the correct way. 

Watch the video below to find out how to program your mind for successful decisions, reactions, and outcomes.

Were you programmed for success before watching this video? 

Share in the comments below how you have used this method to train you brain for success!

Jonathan B. Wolf, Ed.M.

YouTime Coaching

Vitality, Performance, and Parent Coaching

YouTimeCoaching@gmail.com

www.YouTimeCoach.com

Is a Penny Worthless?

If you were to be walking along the sidewalk and saw a penny, would you pick it up?

Is the value of the penny enough for you to stop in your tracks, reach down, and grab it? 

What if it was a heads-up? 

Maybe it would be worth it then. 

A single penny is virtually worthless and cost more to manufacture then it's face value. 

So what is this copper and zinc alloy truly worth?

 I will share with you a truly remarkable story to help answer this question.

The Tall Tale of Bipsy the Dog

 

Bipsy was brought into this world December 1st, 2012 by an abandoned and neglected pregnant mother roaming the streets of Louisiana. She is one of five puppies brought up to New England by the Great Dog Rescue. 

On January 25, 2013 Bipsy became part of Kate's and my life. A cute, cuddly, mix breed that we couldn't quite figure out. We started house breaking, food schedules, buying pee pads, walks, and all the other fun activities associated with raising a puppy (more like a human baby). What most people know is that puppies, like babies, become extremely curious. 

Bipsy was finishing up a weekend adventure at Kate's parents house, where she was able to run around and enjoy the outdoors (not that easy in Boston). 

When Kate went to pick up Bipsy her parent's said, 

"Bipsy may or may not of swallowed a penny, 

just keep an eye out".  

When Bipsy returned back to the North End in Boston, she resumed her normal routines of acting hyper, sleeping, going to the bathroom, sleeping, acting hyper, and more sleeping. Only this time she added in an additional piece, massive amounts scratching. This caught my eye and I decided the next day to bring her to the Vet. 

When we went in to see the Veterinarian, she wasn't too worried about the itching and prescribe some Benadryl. I wasn't going to mention the penny, but I did.

"Oh by the way, she may have swallowed a penny."

The Vet responded with, "Now that worries me, the thing about pennies are that they contain zinc and zinc is toxic. We need to do an xray."

 

 

As I return back to the Dr.'s office, the vet confirms that Bipsy indeed swallowed a penny.

The Vet lays out the next set of steps. 

1. Induced Vomiting to get the penny out

If that doesn't work,

2. Endoscopy

If that doesn't work,

3. Stomach Surgery

They induced vomiting...

No penny.

$37 for vomiting? Where do they come up with these prices?

They completed the Endoscopy...

No penny.

 

They completed surgery,

THEY GOT THE PENNY!

The aftermath...

 

Being a Life Coach, it was absolutely necessary for me to find the meaning and take home message from this. During a long drive to see a client, I tried to wrap my mind around the concepts of  

value, silver linings, luck, and beliefs.   

I realized the major lesson in this is,

(besides having puppy insurance)

Many individual's undervalue their abilities, skills, and strengths. You tend to designate these qualities as "useless" and never utilize some of the most powerful tools you have to offer. 

I challenge you to complete a skills and strengths inventory on yourself. Take the information you now have and explore what other settings or environments those skills would be most valuable in.

Explore your value, discover your value, maximize your value.

Bipsy the Wonderdog