Friday, February 7, 2014

Examine What You Tolerate

On Pinterest you can find nearly anything. From wedding ideas, workout routines, recipes, cute animal pictures, to quotes. If I had a specialty on Pinterest it would be finding unique, meaningful, and stimulating quotes to sit down and really think about (maybe even do something about). I know half of the population on social media believes, they are the quote gurus! I say, there can be many gurus.

I came across a quote a while back,

After reading this I thought for a moment about myself and some of the things that I allow to "slide by" throughout my day and week. What really grabbed me though, as seen through the work I do with clients, is that people tolerate very toxic things in their lives. 

"Examine what you tolerate". In other words, take a deeper look at what things you allow to exist, occur, and be done within your own life that you have convinced yourself are for your best interest. i

Individuals choose to tolerate a wide range of things in their lives that are believed to be for your benefit but are actually toxic to your life. 

Major "tolerated" toxic events;
  • Having friends that put you down
  • Being lied to frequently
  • Being in a relationship that is abusive (verbal, physical, sexually, and neglectful)
  • Negative treatment because "you are not good enough"
  • Bullying because "you deserve it"
  • Consistently giving up on going to the gym or your diet because it "won't make a difference"
  • Bad habits (tolerated by the individual with the habit and others in their environment)
People tolerate all types of things as result of low self-worth and image, fear of others reactions, fear of "not being good enough", fear of "the unknown and uncertainty", the perceived consequences of not tolerating the event, and conditioning to tolerate these events from prior relationships. 

This month set-up an appointment with yourself for a real gut check. Ask yourself what types of things do you tolerate that may be limiting you and why do you tolerate them? 

We all have our faults, imperfections, bad habits, and things to work on. Let's start by being your own detective and asking these four questions.

  1. What are the incredibly obvious things I tolerate in my life right now?
  2. What are the tougher, more painful, and complicated pieces that you tolerate in your life? (true gut check)
  3. What is the cost of continuing to tolerate these things?
  4. What is the benefit of taking steps to stop tolerating these events?

When working on some of the events I have mentioned above you want to be under the supervision of a trained Mental Health Professional. If you feel as though this is the time make some of those changes use the link below. 

Find a Therapist: Find a Therapist near you

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